In the dream a little while later I opened my eyes and paused to collect myself. I then rose and began walking around the room. It wasn’t a room I was familiar with. I came upon a large mirror and when I looked into the mirror, I realized I was invisible, and that I was indeed dead. I was sad and I returned to the bed where I had been lying. I sat down on the bed and thought of the man I love and I prayed to God that he would be looked after and taken care of. I then WOKE UP.
As I lay in my bed in my Santa Monica home this morning, my mind was racing with thoughts. What if it were true? I have had precognitive dreams since I was a child, so what if I only had limited time left? It scared me, but then it just made me realize there were things I needed to do, things I needed to say, plans I needed to make. I turned on my phone and the time read 1:11 am. The number one makes me think of new beginnings, and I suppose it’s appropriate we are approaching a FULL MOON, which indicates endings. I lay there thinking of the one I love and how I would miss him, but how our love would continue no matter where I was. I knew the day we met that this was the man I was going to love for the rest of my life, and even though we are simply friends and taking things one day at a time, I know my feelings for him will never change.
I thought of my books and what would happen to the royalties I currently make. I thought of PEARL and how I needed to finish this book as soon as possible. I thought of my plans for a film and how that would happen, and who would see that it happened if I wasn’t around. I thought of my dream for my Publishing Academy and who would run it, who would continue to fulfill my legacy to support writers in becoming published authors. I thought of all the women I want to reach, those who are going through periods of transition, who need someone to inspire them.
I reflected on the important people in my life, the ones I would leave these tasks to, the ones to carry on my mission of hope. I thought of what I would say to the man I love, all the words that have been floating around my head for months, things I thought I’d always get around to saying, but never did. I knew I needed to see him, to share with him what I experienced, and I’m hoping to do that today.
I was afraid of closing my eyes for would I wake again? There was so much I had left to do. I did manage to drift off again and when I woke around 7:00 am, I felt different. I knew I had experienced something BIG and I needed to take action. I turned on my phone again and this time it read 7:11 am. I had a text from a friend that made me laugh out loud and a load of emails. I looked at the photograph on my phone of me with the man I love, and smiled. I knew our love would create something beautiful and that only time will tell.
As I began to fully awake I realized that I had had dreams similar to this in the past, dreams that I was going to die, yet they didn’t mean literally die. What they meant was that the life I had grown to know was about to change, and that I would be beginning a new chapter. If this is the case, I am excited. I have felt that 2015 would be a magical year, a year when my biggest dreams would come true, and I still believe that. Regardless, what we ALL must realize is that we really don’t know how much time we have left. Life is such a precious gift that can be taken away at any moment. What we MUST do is cherish every moment, live the lives we dream of, say the words we want to say. We can’t wait for our world to be perfect before we ACT.
I lay in bed and thanked God for allowing me to wake up to see another beautiful day here in Santa Monica. It’s something I do EVERY day. I practice gratitude every morning when I wake, and somehow today it meant a little more.