That evening feeling drained and neglected, I wrapped myself in a blanket and flipped on the television. I came upon a documentary on the life of The Buddha. I watched it in its entirety. It was fascinating and I felt so deeply connected to its message. I felt in a way I was being called to seek out a new path for myself.
Despite having a pretty hectic schedule I managed to always find time to read. Books seem to find me precisely when I need them. I always seem to find the perfect book for exactly what I am going through at that precise moment, and this continues today. At that time of transition, I came upon a book called Dancing on the River by Mark Susnow. Mark & I had met at a local chamber mixer and realized we had quite a bit in common in terms of writing and music. In his book, he mentions 8 Principles in Navigating Life’s Changes. They are:
- Live from your center. Start the day with meditation
- Reflect on Gratitude
- Curiosity – Reflect on the day ahead, use your imagination
- Be Prepared. Take care of yourself – body, soul and mind
- Let go of resistance. Go with the flow.
- Get out of your comfort zone and take risks
- Realize you can’t do it alone. Reach out to likeminded souls
- Enjoy the greatness. Become more comfortable with not knowing
When reading Mark’s book I realized this was another of those moments when timing was everything. I was thinking about the documentary I had watched on the Buddha and how I wanted to learn how to meditate and add that to my yoga practice. Now here was Mark telling me how important it was to begin each day with meditation. Reading Mark’s book also gave me the opportunity to reflect on my life and my childhood, and how everyone I have met has shaped my life to what it is today. The next couple of weeks were spent working some smaller events and taking care of my body. I practiced yoga, hiked the Headlands and did everything I could to take care of myself and my baby.
I will always remember one morning in particular. I was returning home from yoga and stopped at the bank to get some money. I withdrew twenty dollars and my balance read $5.83. As I walked down Bridgeway Boulevard on what was a beautiful day, I just smiled. I thought to myself – “I have five dollars to my name, but yet I’m HAPPY!” I realized that I was precisely where I wanted to be, in my beloved Sausalito. I was creating a life for myself and my child. I was working hard doing what I love to do. I was truly happy.
My yoga practice was becoming such a critical part of my life. Matthew was so passionate about his practice and shared stories with me about the history of yoga. He also intertwined lessons about letting go of resistance and finding ones center. I soon began to feel more emotionally balanced despite having so much going on in my life. I would meditate prior to our class and the chatter in my mind soon faded with time. I began to appreciate the simplest of things, like my breath. I felt so very blessed having found my friend again and being given this time together.
The week of January 24th is where things took a sharp turn. I had an appointment with my chiropractor as my low back was throbbing. I’ve always had low back pain so visiting the chiropractor had become a way of life. I mentioned to my doctor however that I had been having sharp pains in my abdomen the last 24 hours and he suggested I have it checked out if it continued.